the future: moving out

After graduation, I spent time with family. After a week of asking myself future questions, I was prepared for theirs. What's next? What college are you going to? Do you know what you want to do? Major? Job? I even mentioned moving out a couple times with my friend. But a couple nights ago right before falling asleep, I came to the realization I just would not move out. I would not move out with her anyways. Why? Seems sudden, not thought out and maybe harsh? I have been thinking about moving out for years. I have been thinking about moving out with her for weeks. But I realized with rent for MY part is close to $500 and all the other expenses that would be tossed on me, I'd need to make probably a $1000 or more to sustain a comfortable lifestyle with her. And that doesn't even mention living with someone is a totally complete different story than just being friends with someone. I don't know if we'd get along so to say. Or have fights. What about if I wanna see this guy? And the location........... So just too much. But after each huge, unnecessary argument my mother creates with me. One after the other for NO reason, I am more urged and pressed to move out. My mom doesn't care when I move out. I could move out today, I could have moved out last week. Obviously I'm not because I need to save money (find a job....ahem) and figure out where to go. There are plenty of options I'm sure. I want a place near me..with the right people, where it's not so expensive and where I can have my dog probably. If it's close, she could always stay at my house and I just come see her/take care of her. If I get a job at Publix, it will definitely have to be close. I was talking to a "friend"(more) and that I could always move in with him when I can. My mom would be pissed, but it'd be him and his parents there. He'd have school, I'd have college. He'd have a job and so would I. I'd pitch in of course and I'd have my own bills and necessities to take care of too. The only problem is my mom's reaction (but she wouldn't be able to stop me..) and what about my dog? They don't have much space and they have 2 pits which will apparently bite me if they see me. I'd love to take my dog wherever and I might have to. But he lives near where I could see her a ton and take care of her. But everything is a dream or a possible option right now. Nothing can happen without a job. For some reason, I'm not even motivated to go get dressed right now to just APPLY to Publix. I guess I must find something to "buy" there. Just to get me up and moving. Anyways. Those are two options of moving out. I would figure out all the details of everything when it becomes more realistic and possible of actually happening. But I'm excited because no matter how much my mom tries to stop me, prevent me, put obstacles in my way, everything I do, say, whatever choice I make, it's ALL ME. No one else. Everything right now and here on out is MY choice, MY decision. It is an incredible feeling, or would be if I was actually able to do that. My mother decides to judge, stop, control me. But I'm a graduate of high school. Her role is done. She is not over me anymore. It's my brother's turn for he has the next 4 years of high school ahead of him. Good luck to him, good luck to my mom and mostly, good luck to myself. Nothing that is worth it is easy. I will not let anyone influence or stop me. Everything is from me. Everything is my choice, thought, word, action. If I want to do it, I will. -motivated&determined high school graduate